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A 3-year-old tells all from his mother's restroom stall.
By Shannon Popkin
My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker. He loves to communicate and does it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we are in the library, the grocery store or at a drive-thru window. People often comment on how clearly he speaks for a just-turned-3-year-old. And you never have to ask him to turn up the volume. It's always fully cranked. There have been several embarrassing times that I've wished the meaning of his words would have been masked by a not-so-audible voice, but never have I wished this more than last week at Costco.
Halfway, through our shopping trip, nature called, so I took Cade with me into the restroom. If you'd been one of the ladies in the restroom that evening, this is what you would have heard coming from the second to the last stall:
''Mommy, are you gonna go potty? Oh! Why are you putting toiwet paper on the potty, Mommy? Oh! You gonna sit down on da toiwet paper now? Mommy, what are you doing? Mommy, are you gonna go stinkies on the potty?''
At this point I started mentally counting how many women had been in the bathroom when I walked in. Several stalls were full ... 4? 5? Maybe we could wait until they all left before I had to make my debut out of this stall and reveal my identity. Cade continued:
''Mommy, you ARE going stinkies aren't you? Oh, dats a good girl, Mommy! Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on the potty? Let me see doze stinkies, Mommy! Oh ... Mommy! I'm trying to see In dere. Oh! I see dem. Dat is a very good girl, Mommy. You are gonna get some candy!''
I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side of me. Where is a screaming new born when you need her? Good grief. This was really getting embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a long time before exiting. Trying to divert him, I said, ''Why don't you look in Mommy's purse and see if you can find some candy. We'll both have some!''
''No, I'm trying to see doze more stinkies...Oh! Mommy!''
He started to gag at this point.
''Uh - oh, Mommy. I fink I'm gonna frow up. Mommy, doze stinkies are making me frow up!! Dat is so gross!!''
As the gags became louder, so did the chuckles outside my stall.. I quickly flushed the toilet in hopes of changing the subject. I began to reason with myself: OK. There are four other toilets. If I count four flushes, I can be reasonably assured that those who overheard this embarrassing monologue will be long gone.
''Mommy! Would you get off the potty, now? I want you to be done going stinkies! Get up! Get up!''
He grunted as he tried to pull me off Now I could hear full-blown laughter. I bent down to count the feet outside my door.
''Oh, are you wooking under dere, Mommy? You wooking under da door? What were you wooking at? Mommy? You wooking at the wady's feet?''
More laughter. I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess the situation.
''Mommy, it's time to wash our hands, now. We have to go out now, Mommy.'' He started pounding on the door. ''Mommy, don't you want to wash your hands? I want to go out!!''
I saw that my wait 'em out' plan was unraveling. I sheepishly opened the door, and found standing outside my stall, twenty to thirty ladies crowded around the stall, all smiling and starting to applaud.
My first thought was complete embarrassment, then I thought, where's the fine print on the 'motherhood contract' where I signed away every bit of my dignity and privacy? But as my little boy gave me a big, cheeky grin while he rubbed bubbly soap between his chubby little hands, I thought, I'd sign it all away again, just to be known as Mommy to this little fellow.
(Shannon Popkin is a freelance writer and mother of three She lives with her family in Grand Rapids , Michigan , where she no longer uses public restrooms)
You must pass this on to all the mothers who have had embarrassing moments with their children. Isn't it great to be a parent!!!
Here we are again at this special time of the year, when I get all sentimental and remember those final moments in the hospital. How excited, and nervous and scared I was waiting for BJ to arrive for the delivery of our daughters. I am so thankful that God has blessed us with these two beautiful, hilarious, frustrating, loving bundles. They really opened up our eyes to things we had never experienced before. God revealed himself like He had never needed to before. We put every single care that we had in His hands, because there was no other way to cope during those scary times. And here we are two years later living like a normal (HA) crazy family :)
The girls are busy beyond belief. Testing boundaries, learning new abilities, speaking in short sentences, starting to show a tiny interest in potty training and constantly making us laugh.
We have their party this Friday so I will have more pictures to come. I have some from the actual birthday that I need to get off the camera.
Preslyn and Ella....Daddy, Hayden and I love you so much! We can't imagine life without either one of you, and are so blessed that we don't have to!
Love love love!
I've been working hard towards a show I'm in this weekend!! Details are on my lindentree boutique blog. There is a link over to the right. You should stop by if you are local. They are giving away a WII, a lexus for a weekend and tons of other raffles, plus over 40 vendors will be there. come get your christmas shopping off to a start or maybe even knock it out in one day!
This is a bestseller year around and people really love getting them as gifts during the holidays. I want to make sure I order enough for those last minute shoppers so I'm trying to encourage people to start planning early :)
I am going to start taking holiday pre-orders for Satin Hands Pampering sets now! Order now and yours will be delivered no later than the last week of November! $25 or 2 for $40 Regularly $30 each
www.marykay.com/lindsaymunson
Here's a little info on the set in case you have never tried it before!
You're one step closer to softness. The Satin Hands... Read More® Satin Smoothie® Hand Scrub cleanses and exfoliates. It's an everyday treat for hands to leave them feeling smooth and soft instantly. And you'll love the fresh peach scent. It's part of the Satin Hands® Pampering Set for irresistibly smooth, supersoft hands in three easy steps.
The Satin Hands® Pampering Set includes Extra Emollient Night Cream, Satin Hands® Satin Smoothie® Hand Scrub with a convenient pump dispenser and Satin Hands® Hand Cream to condition and moisturize for hours. All three come in a pretty peach-colored bag.
Satin Hands® Satin Smoothie® was awarded the 2007 SELF Healthy Beauty award for “Best Hand Scrub."
So that is the theme song from one of the workouts I do (TurboJam). Its super fun, hard and feels great when your done! :)
I've been changing up my work out tunes lately and wondered what's on your workout playlist??? I'm always up for new tunes that make me feel the pain less and keep me motivated!
Lets hear 'em!
Currently mine is:
Decode--Paramore
Sugar-- Flo Rida
Live Like we're dying--Kris Allen
Party in the U.S.A--Miley Cyrus
Right Round-- Flo Rida
Never Forget you --Noisettes
Paparazzi -- Lady Gaga
Somewhere only we know --Keane
Don't Upset the Rhythm (go baby)-- Noisettes
Undisclosed Desires --Muse
Pocketful of Sunshine --Natasha Beddingfield
Its my life -- Bon Jovi
Supermassive Black Hole --Muse
Feel This --Bethany Joy Galeotti
Afterglow-- INXS
Bullet and a Targe -- Citizen Cope
Battlefield -- Jordin Sparks
Running up that hill -- Placebo
"i'll have spaghetti with a side salad. if the salad is on top. send it back. "
--Michael Scott from "The Office"
